Teeth: ONE - My Teeth. Here Today. Gone tomorrow. Back soon.

“There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth"

I’m a big fan of The Bible. For the dodgy reason of all the artistic endeavour which it has inspired. As an almost lifelong atheist I hasten to say that my struggle with the value of those artistic endeavours is an ongoing and earnest one. Some of it is achingly beautiful though… even if misdirected in my view. The good book also provides a redoubtable source of literary expression. That introductory quotation occurs a few times as a description of the torments of the damned in Hell. Very soon (tomorrow!) I will undergo procedures to relieve me of the remaining teeth in my upper jaw. The success or otherwise of my recovery phase will determine whether a prosthetic replacement becomes ten times more effective than what advancing years have left me with. So… not too much weeping (I fear the dentist not) and a fair bit less gnashing of teeth for a while.

Drastic measures, eh.

Decision made. And, using my currently remaining teeth to bite the bullet over cost, thoughts turn to the possibility of a running theme to this blog for the first part of 2019. Oh… Happy New Year everyone! That theme? Has to be a regular but hopefully not too painfully detailed account of what effects my chosen path sets up. Bearing in mind that my eating habits are going to be sorely modified for some time.

You might find it difficult to believe that it has only occurred to me while writing here that poet Pam Ayres’ sentiments in ‘Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth’ might easily be mentioned. Instead, for many weeks I’ve had an earworm (bookworm would be a better description) nagging me to revisit something captured in between the Alan Aldridge designed covers of John Lennon’s Penguin collection. A trip to the loft with desecrated decorations on Twelfth Night also allowed the retrieval of my 1966 copy of the said volume. Much nostalgia. About ten years ago I bought my brother a new edition for his birthday and we recited extensive passages from memory without referencing the text. A snippet of one favourite is here between those covers before the obvious ‘something’ which has been in my thoughts.

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There. Hope I’ve not given too much spoiler for those uninitiated in the trials of ‘Good Dog Nigel’. Distract yourself immediately with the main course below…

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Distracted? Good. I hasten to add that any thoughts of cosmetic improvement have been very low on my personal list of priorities. It’s all about the ultimate enhancement of my chomping capabilities. But as I go for extractions which will be followed by several weeks of avoidance of ‘proper’ chewing foods it would be great if any of you could send your finest suggestions as to what liquid lunches (or any other time of the day meals) you can recommend that are tasty and nutritious.

I have a juicer and NutriBullet at the ready. Hit me with your finest food flummery. But please steer well clear of all that nutribollox business!

I’ll see you again when whatever they use instead of novocaine has worn off and I can stop slurring my blog posts!

Kind regards

‘Gummy’

A good try… but no conversion

#SpoilerAlert - Details of the current series of 'MasterChef: The Professionals' contained within.

“Whatever the result, Adam Handling has a very bright future ahead.” When Michel Roux Jr. expressed that sentiment (I don’t have the exact words) in the final programme of MasterChef: The Professionals 2013 I thought he was preparing me to see my favourite chef of that year come in as runner-up. Which he did… and went straight on to enjoy that very bright future.

The latest episode of this year’s series had Marcus Wareing critiquing the dessert of Matthew Campbell. I hurried to catch up with my recording of the programme after seeing this tweet from chef Wareing:

With apologies to proper fans who watched live, here is a little of what went on. Marcus thought the 'show-stopper' artichoke dessert offering "very, very heavy". He liked the ideas but wasn't a big fan of the dish... which generated this reaction from Matthew:

As you can see, Matthew doesn't actually say 'old-fashioned' or 'stuck' but I suppose 'classic' is not 'modern'.  His words might be interpreted as less than odd, and even complimentary. But those words were the impetus for Marcus' tweet. He continued with just one more comment on the situation which could be seen as demoting Matthew from 'chef' to 'cook'. 

Of course, the results which will only be revealed to us this week have been known to all involved in the programme for some time. I will watch the last episodes with extra interest. I still don't mind which of the chefs wins. I refuse to let Matthew's style and presentation of himself as opposed to his cooking get in the way of that enjoyment. But there is a big prize in store for the winner. Like other finalists, Matthew has already established a high profile on social media. He has a book ready for publication next year. He has certainly attracted the praise of other cooks and chefs. Vegans are rejoicing... but they know that Michelin starred chefs have been using vegetables in dessert for at least a decade, don't they! Matthew's promotion of nutritional gastronomy doesn't seem too whacky or even dangerous so far. But, whether he wins or not, I will discard him if he descends into a world where pseudo-science underpins his cooking. He could be about to make serious amounts of money on the back of his appearances in the BBC show. That will all be meaningless to me if he 'earns' that money from diet 'fadiots' who are after a quick and unsubstantiated fix rather than good honest cooking. At least some of those have already fallen into the trap of saying that Matthew is cooking without sugar.

Marcus has no need to justify, explain or defend the excellence which he has achieved. He could easily flick away 'odd' criticism by ignoring it. So, is he preparing us for Matthew's fall from grace... or am I whipping up all this from a bit of froth and starting to look a bit thick? 

The next programme is airing as I post this. Best go and see what's cooking. I'll applaud loudest if flavour is the focus. Good luck to all!

Link to Matt's tasty Instagram account here.
He uses Facebook too.
Oh, heck... Matt also has a fine looking website complete with blog.
I'll let you find some of the hundreds of links to Marcus Wareing!