eBains

Link to Insta post here.

I’m quite sure there must be thousands like me who have wondered what a staggeringly talented chef proprietor of a two-Michelin star restaurant gets up to on a Friday when mis en place is fully mised and he has time on his hands before delighting another room full of privileged guests. Chef - Sat Bains himself - obliged with the answer (for at least one of those Fridays) on his Instagram account a few days ago.

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Chef Sat Bains looking hard as nails and perhaps challenging me to justify the nonsense in this post!

For those of you who struggle with pinch-to-zoom or who go pickled onion-eyed trying to view teeny text, here is Sat’s accompanying message.

“I have managed to secure one of the rarest iconic cookbooks by one of the greatest cooks in the world and it is for sale.

Anyone interested?
If so, it will go to the highest bidder.

The starting bid is £400 🌸”

— https://www.instagram.com/p/C40FvtWoVaY/

That cookbook.
Rare? Perhaps.
Iconic? Very many will agree.
That chef? One of the greatest cooks in the world? Much nodding of heads.
So far, so good.
Oh. Sat Bains has secured a copy and is offering it for sale?
With bidding starting at £400.00.
Well, jolly good luck to him. How alarming to hear that one of our very finest British chefs is on his uppers. A sad reflection of the parlous state of hospitality perhaps.
Except.
(Cheoff executes his raised eyebrow and investigates further)

A quick search reveals at least one equivalent hardback is readily available over at the beautifully seductive website of AbeBooks.

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And, after less than a couple of hours of distraction with various social media, evening meal prep, and at least one bladder-emptying activity (too much information?), I discover that it is no longer available.

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The rest is silence. I cannot give an update on how things went with Sat Bain’s auction. And I don’t really have any evidence that he was trying to replenish depleted funds. He is a mercurial kind of guy who might well have been relaxing between bouts of building his body into a machine fit to live a healthier life and taking snapshots of his team working hard to serve up ‘wondrous things’ in the restaurant.

I’m left flapping around a bit, aren’t I? Which is a state in which I refuse to flap any longer.

So allow me to distract you with something meaty - in a very chocolatey manner - to prevent this post fizzling out in a whimper by giving you some links to further reading, and especially to the iconic recipe which Michel Bras devised.

For a quick introduction to Michel Bras look here.

Find a nicely illustrated account of THAT recipe here on the very informative Michel Bras Cookware Studio.

‘Requires attention to details’
”OK. I’ll pay attention and give it a go…”

This will give you a PDF of a developed recipe. Please use your best knowledge of French to translate before cooking!

Michel Bras

TOO MANY CHIEFS ONLY ONE INDIAN/SAT BAINS/

Published in September 2012, this cookbook has been on my wish-list for the last six years. In that time loving gift-givers have all been found lacking in sufficient generosity but, in fairness, have managed to find reasonably agreeable alternative presents to fit their reduced financial circumstances. When I recently had my first magazine article published I decided that I would buy the book. What? Yes, someone paid me for writing that article!

Sat Bains introduced himself onto my list of chefs who sound interesting when the second series of Great British Menu aired in 2007. Entering the competition reluctantly, his dish of egg, ham and peas was judged the best starter and was cooked at the British Embassy in Paris at an Ambassadors Dinner. The programme bumped up bookings at the restaurant for the best part of a year. Ham/Egg/Peas was still served to customers when this book was published five years later. But some things must move on and fair warning was given of an evolved version of the dish on the menu from 2013. Recipes for the original and for the modified dish both necessarily appear in the book. I promise to return to the food before letting you out for playtime but first a little about other aspects of the book.

The history which has made a world-class chef and restaurant is set out. Experiences and influences which have formed Sat Bains are written in plenty of publications, many available online, but all salient points are covered here through sections which nicely round up everything that has led to a bit of magic appearing at the NG7 postcode. The background story is followed by a spot of backslapping, backchat and general musing from Sat’s peers in the form of their personal response to news of his publication.

Some of the chefs contribute enjoyable and positive asides but a few ‘usual suspects’ appear and reference the worst aspects of any workplace. Kitchen bullies are still a huge problem - they diminish the business and discourage people who might otherwise enter the profession. It is sad that Sat Bains’ CV includes his involvement in activities which too many chefs defend as being a ‘rite of passage’ or an understandable response to a relentlessly tough environment. There is no compromise for me on this. I have enough personal experience to be sure that such behaviour is unnecessary and always indefensible. There. That’s done. Paragraphs below will show you that I don’t allow such flaws in the industry to completely blind me to the glorious things which come out of its kitchens.

It’s worth noting that the London ‘White Heat’ of Marco Pierre White’s iconic 1990 book is already less intensely on display in the generous galleries of photographs from the Nottingham kitchen.

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Available here.

My copy arrived safe and sound. It is well packaged with one more outer box already recycled and unavailable for the photoshoot above. Production values are very high. I can imagine the same thought and care was put into the book release as is put into letting a dish go out to diners at Restaurant Sat Bains. The visual impact of text, the contrast of papers and the occasional pattern from pierced sheets - think perforated metal cookware - give a deliberate aesthetic. Pages of Sat’s creative development doodlings are reproduced and this whole volume has strong vibes of a chef’s notebook in appearance. Mind you, this one weighs in at over 3 kilograms and has a slipcase large enough to garage a Robin Reliant.

Graphologists would have a fine time dissecting the crazy hand-written script used by Sat. Here is their usual assessment of ‘all-caps handwriting’.

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More explanation here.

Interesting, eh? I’m not much versed in the science of graphology but it seems to have a little more validity than the hokum of, say, astrology. Mind you, those five rather bleak judgements are blown out of the water by the nature of Sat Bains’ capitalisation. His is no rigid, four-square delivery. He flashes an idiosyncratic calligraphy across a page with flourishes, connections and ascenders and descenders which I imagine would confound any handwriting expert. Here is someone who veered away from visual art as a career but who insists on doing the hugely important job of recording food ideas through the medium of his own, inventive and eye-catching art form. I am fine with this. I like a clever bugger.

Those food ideas are revealed in their fully developed state in the recipes. Oh, yes. We are entering the main course I promised. The food. These pages take you through dishes which all fit into the progression of a tasting menu at the restaurant. So ‘main courses’ are small to fit comfortably into chef’s delivery of a huge flavour-driven spread.

SALT - SWEET - SOUR - BITTER - UMAMI

Five taste profiles are described for each dish. ‘Umami’ was recognised back in 1908 but has probably only been in anything like common usage for a couple of decades. The word ‘bitter’ pushes us towards ideas of unpleasantness but it is good to see it have its rightful inclusion. It has been given centre stage by provocative chef/writer Jennifer McLagan in this book.

Jean Anthelme Brillat- Savarin thought the number of tastes is infinite, because each one is unique. Sat Bains spares us that confusion. He offers no detailed scientific analysis of the way tastes ‘work’ together. For that, go to something like Nik Sharma’s ‘The Flavor Equation’. But chef’s decisions about the final balance of a dish rest on decades of experience, investigation and development. All of which jump from the page as convincing and reassuring - and as more immediately accessible than many other high-end cookbooks.

Be prepared for compromise. Unless you have enough equipment and experience in the kitchen you will struggle to do justice to many of the dishes. Hours - months - of rigorous groundwork has all been done for the reader but I know there are details of finish, texture and temperature which will inevitably escape me as I try to recreate some dishes. None of which will deter me. There is compelling inspiration here and it would only be respectful to go some way to trying to reproduce it at home.

Professional chefs will have eagerly gobbled up this book. Most of us cooking at home will have to invest in one more thing - a wholesale review of the way we offer our food. Inviting keen family or friends to help with preparation for a couple of days might not be a bad idea. Form your own brigade. If you go solo, completion of any one of the dishes would be a worthwhile challenge to add to your skill set and understanding. Unless you are inviting a full house be prepared to adjust quantities. This is one of very few cookbooks where each recipe will serve ten.

For the real thing we must be grateful that Covid rule relaxations have opened up bookings at the Nottingham restaurant. Be persistent. Many are already ahead of us in the queue!

I’ve reviewed what is now a relatively old book. It was given a multitude of awards on publication. Coming to it late, I still find it fresh and exciting. It would be a lie to say that it will find a permanent place beside my stoves. But only because it is far too classy to be subjected to close contact with the splash and splutter of the kitchen. Notes will be taken. Recipes will be photographed or digitised. Seasonality is highlighted throughout so that will be given a firm nod.
I’ll agonise a little before deciding what to challenge myself with first. Chef gives clear instructions for complex dishes but refuses to prescribe presentation. You and I are delightfully on our own with that. I’ve already bookmarked a comparatively simple savoury ice cream sandwich. Watch out for reports on my efforts.

The overwhelming first hit of ‘Too Many Chiefs…’ is its style. Ultimately, rather like Sat Bains, this ‘One Indian’ impresses with its huge substance. You should know that, while not dismissing the Michelin Guide, I set small store by their judgements. They do allow for one subjective but interesting criteria - the personality of a chef on his plates. This chef has stamped his personality on every page of his book.

Sat Bains recently posted evidence that he’s not a Covid denier or an anti-vaxxer. So, a couple more redeeming features to add to the complexities of forming a balanced view of one of our most compelling, multi-faceted chefs. Whatever he might do with ham and peas, he appears to be a fairly good egg.